Haiz. Today is the worst day in my life. Yes.no doubt about it. i wish i died seriously. this world is making me sick...i dont know what is wrong. but i guess the problem is me.

First thing in the morning played "pass the ball" during pharmacotherapy. music stops, person with the ball will kenna Patient or PT. heng heng until me. wth. and i was the PT. and sk was the patient. i guess the whole class doesnt know what i was talking about. because i dun understand myself too. nvm. next TEP. Mr Kelvin says tep test 1 pupil got 0. i am 1000000% sure its me. anyway my test, i got a fantabulas F lah. huiyan got full marks. she is smart. i am dumb. all the while maybe i have been trying to deny that i am dumb. maybe i should just admit that i am stupid and get a life and stop trying to act smart. im totally nuts. maybe i should switch profession. because i dun think i am good at this. maybe quit school is the only choice for me. Mr Kelvin says if we are not sure that the preparation wont kill anyone, we should change course. but too late la. so maybe i can quit school and stop wasting money and resources. i think im not suitable to be in this line. cos i might have killed millions of people. fine. next thing. i broke a stirring rod. yes the 2nd apparatus in my life. was stirring when i accidently hit it and it flew out of the beaker and piang on the floor. well done. i deserve a slap. should have broken my head instead of the stirring rod. then after the experiment we have to clean like crazy. yes because both prep contains white soft paraffin. and its damm freaking irritating one. i think white soft paraffin is taboo to my life. whatever. so we ha to wash like siao. but we dun seem to finish washing the beakers and bottles. because somehow they just keep increasing. perhaps we washed a thousand pieces that does not belong to us. in the end only left me june and dionis down there keep washing like crazy. with hot water somemore. and the rest of people are almost all gone. and seriously i have to scrub the stupid bottles containing HOT water with my bare hands. so after the expt was like red and hot. and super crumpled like tau pok. really. and i think my nail polishes almost came off. not that i am try to exagerate. but the bottles are damm difficult to clean. the water and soap and tissues wasted is far more expensive than the bottles i think. i dunno. i hate my life. i hate myself. i hate everything. i hate this world. maybe 死了算了...累人累己...