i am tired. really tired. i cant seem to find anything, nor anyone, in this world worth living for.


TRUTHS ABOUT ME

i am detestable.i am irritating.i like to act smart.i like to act cute.i am uncouth.and rough.and uncivilised.i am rude.i am ugly and fat.i am stupid.i am ultra dumb.i am loud.i try to be lame.i am nonsense.i am bad.i am lazy.i like to act pretty.i like to act pro.i like to crap.i scold people.i always do the wrong thing.i always attact attention.i have bad temper.i am not well liked.i am notorious.i am unpopular.i am not a good friend.not a good person.i scream at people.i like to spend money.i pretend im rich.i pretend i know everything.i like to brag.i am materealistic.i am disgusting.i am not lovable.i am fickle-minded.i am mentally unsound.i am idiotic.


etc..............


LASTLY. i pretend to be happy.

people hates me. so do i. i hate myself





why am i trying so hard when i cant possibly change the outcome. why am i still holding on when things are way beyond my control. why isnt life the least fair.


if only he'll come and take me away...
to anywhere. even death.

i want to live in somewhere where there is nothing for me to worry about, where i can do anything i want. i cant take this anymore.

sometimes when i sleep, i dun feel like waking up anymore

till this point, there is no one i can blame except myself.




王子和公主不一定会在一起!!!




till death we part

24 April 09

School again today. duh. pharm pract was funny. baby care talking about ms annie ng's baby. lol. and then was vaginal infections. and sk with his wearing a skirt without underwear. omg. anw after that went for lunch with most of class peeps. and many lecturers. ms yong, ms teng, ms ng mr tan including leng zai mr kelvin tan. duh. and the classic 9 - justin + me dionis pq june mh hy. we occupied half the koufu. after that went for HOME to take my pharmaco tutorial. didnt bring. urgh. went with dionis. tried to take the mrt using ONE ez-link card for the fun of it. lol. then went for pharm ana pract. very dry wor. and we have to come our with our own pract for projects. omg. after that went fot pharmaco tut. went home and sleep until 10 plus. lol PIG. :D

something terrible happened today. my dearie friend was scalded by the stupid ban mian. ms yong n mr kelvin brought her to a&e. very sad. cos i couldnt really do anything. hope she is fine. take caress & get well soon dear!! :))


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






at night~

for once in 6 weeks, i am happy. but i dunno how long this drug (him) will last...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh ya. anyway anyway anyway:



tt bigger pig is WAY WAY WAY smarter than the smaller pig...and through a magician living in the forest...the bigger pig is transformed into a human but the smaller pig is left to slp in mud



wahahaha. 10000000% copyrighted

SCHOOL REOPENS!!!


20 April 09

SCHOOL REOPENS! i cant believe it. so sudden lol. i cant believe i'm year 3. and with not much achievement in school. sadded. 6 weeks of holidays had passed like a breeze. its not very short actually. but i dun mind it longer. anw spent many many days at home rotting. although i have achieved more than my last 6-weeks break. (the most regretful thing is that i did not use the time to study my jap. shit me)


What i have 'achieved' :


- work at xerox
- bangkok trip
- read several books
- outings with ddarlings
- finished watching On The First Beat and Emergency Unit. ULTRA NICE

etc...

not bad lah.




but sadly. there are things that are to be done over the holidays. but i cant seem to get myself going. that is to GO ON A MASSIVE DIET. lols. i promised myself that i would go exercising everyday. but to no avail lah. hates myself for this. and im supposed to do driving with dionis... but we didnt either. -.-

i still cannot believe me that school has reopen. lols. and there are several things i cant believe also. :D here are some:

- i cant believe school has reopened!
- i cant believe i'm already year 3
- i cant believe after studying so long, i still have not achieved anything :(
- i cant believe i will be seeing him less often. lol.
- i cant believe i cant see mooks anymore
- i cant believe this sem no more jap. lol
- i cant believe i will be going for attachment soon
- i cant believe there are 8 modules OMG
- i cant believe we are alone. no more 02 no more MB. (maybe have)
- i cant believe this is the last chance for me to get d-listed (duh)
- i cant believe i am still the last in class (most prob)

thats all. maybe will add more. duh

ITS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL & super excited. duh. today's class is only from 9 to 10 only. duh. alighted from MRT and got a shock. cos there were like 15million students gathering there. most probaby year ones. cos we were like this too like 2 years ago. hey its really people mountain people sea wor. LOL. waited for huiyan. and dionis traffic jam. lol. on the way up met boucy jie jie. gave her a massive hug. missed her loads. then went for Dr Henry's class. we have got our PS rooms. we are suggesting decorating the room and setting up notice boards. wahahaha. after pharm analysis. went for lunch. stayed back to do homework while waiting for dionis to have lunch tgt. wondering why she has lessons but hy and me dont? BECAUSE. lol. she takes personal selling as elective. but we dont. we take aseptic dispensing. which is on tuesday. personal selling on monday. ok anyway for lunch. i ate jap. yes. i missed schools jap. haven ate for maybe 2 months. lol. and the canteen is very very crowded. after that on the way home, met weishan. i am gg home and she is going school. haha. yeah. have to go home do homework liao. oh ya last but not least. a vcery funny thing happened. we were talking on our way home, maybe i was screaming like talking. so one indian old uncle beside me was like "girl, why u cannot talk softly" wth?! and huiyan and dionis was laughing like siao. so mean.

ps. i saw kunan twice. lol
ps no. 2 i saw my wrs junior. studying pharm science also. so happy




21 April 09

DA second day of school...its gonna be a long day. cos it will be lessons from 9am to 9pm. yess. 12 whole hours. because of aseptic dispensing will be night classes. due to the lecturer having other commitment. but i dun mind la. as least can get to experience night classes. haha! anyway classes are real long today. had phmgmt, followed by comms skills which i was laughing through the lesson. i dunno why. i just think its funny. (fyi i have mental disorders). the lecturer was even more hilarious. he wanted to have our individual pictures, so that he can remember our faces. and the whole class apparently burst into laughter when he fished out his camera. wahahahaha. i think its damm funny. funnyly, the lecturer's attandance list only has 15 of our names. and he was ultra shock to see so many ppl in the class. lol. next was EBM. yays. we have a common lecture with the MB. i like 热闹! LOL. and accounting is driving me nuts. i don get why science students must study accounting. argh. so difficult. next was bphamaco 2. was somthing like pharmaco 1 + HBD. haha. and the CVS is driving me nuts! haha. more to go. ganbateh. then then went for dinner at mac. i cant finish my fries. lol and ended up eating at night until 1am. duh. anyway aseptic lessons are quite fun. funner than the other modules maybe. the lecturer is funny. but he doesnt seem to laugh at his own jokes. so we don dare to laugh also. hahahahaha. one funny thing. there was an indian aunty cleaner, she was on the phone, and unknowingly, she opened the door when we were having put pharmaco lesson. so basically i saw and GASPED. and because i was sitting infront, the gasp was really loud. so the lady saw me and heard my "HURRR?!" and was like sorry sorry sorry. i think i am insane. i really dun mean it. 反应太大. and the whole class burst into laughter, maybe including Mr Tan. what have i done again -.-


i finally saw him today after gozilla ages. but i think im transparent. i eat glass for a living.

22 April 09

SAGITTARIUS
November 22-December 21
You're done dwelling on past peccadilloes and time-worn transgressions. Whatever love you've lost in the past is buried and over with. And that's a great place to be for you. Everything's new and fresh and you'll welcome any new romance with unencumbered enthusiasm


there are certain things 不是说可以忘记就忘记... especially when i have once deeply loved you.... i tried hard telling myself to forget...BUT I JUST CANT. i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant!!!!!

what has happened in school today...nothing special? just pharmaco tutorial then for lunch with dionis. followed by club crawl. didnt see kunan, to dionis disappointment. lol. saw shiping. and decided to support her performance. &&& m and dionis decided to go gym regularly!!!



23 April 09

Had class meeting today. janella is our new class rep. :DD . was funny during the "election". dionis was d-listed. i feel happy for her. but feel very sad for myself. :( anw after that was ebm tut. accounting is really driving me nuts. i need tution. printed notes. lots lots of notes. for my classmates and myself and it totaled up to be $17.10. this is the first time im photocopy so much notes (: then pharmacotherapy. this time round s not miss yong anymore. new lecturer annie lim. and according to the curse, (i am down with the curse that 1st week of schook i will sure kenna pty) i was picked to ACT AS PATIENT. heng heng heng is patient. huiyan is my PT. i guess everyone is lost after nua-ing for so long. maybe us only. lol. i decided to set my smoking quit date on racial harmony's day. trying to be as funny. i think our whole class can join mediacorp. especially justin and june. the 双J出击. lol. miss yong came in with BMTC survey. and because of a word 帅 which i blurted out. i was picked to do the survey. thank you me. hahaha.

ps. irene doesnt like me. sadded. -.-









i am reallly transparent.






Randoms:

1) ON TV

Host: 母鸡的奶奶是谁？
Kid: 阿姨

ROFL


2) i was playing a song when my sis...
Sis: Singer sing one ah?
Me: DUH? if not butcher?

DUH.

APRIL' 09

1 April 09

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY ! LOL
have to go to school today. for a class meeting and class lunch. fish and co! my favourite! huiyan couldnt join us because she had something on. almost all lecturers joined us too. Dr Henry sat next to me. haha. the food ws yummy. anyway got tricked by Mr Kelvin today. saying wad to do an assignment to be handed in during school reopen. must write top 20 brands or each category of drugs. i really got tricked duh! after that went to walk walk with dionis. went past citispa and was tempted by the $38 spa. so decided to book appt. i think its funny. -.-


2 April 09

stayed at home rot again :D


3 April 09

yes yes yes i stayed at home to rot again :D


4 April 09

have to work -.-


5 April 09

nth special -.-


6 April 09

Celebrate dearest huiyan's birthday with her n dionis. met huiyan at khatib. was watching forensic heroes 2 on my mp3. NICE SHOW. then met dionis at dhoby ghout. decided to go Central. i have never been there before. to my surprise. like nothing much one. disappointed. duh.anw we had lunch at manhattan's fish market. ( I HAVE BEEN EATING FISH LIKE SIAO RECENTLY :D ) . the set lunch is cheap leh. and the fish is super lot. i couldnt decide on chips or rice. cos i haven tried the rice before. so the waiter is super good lah. he let me have half half of both. happie :D the scenary from our seat is also very nice. can see the river.-.-// after that went to walk walk. was raining. so have to wait for the rain to stop before going oustide...... yeah. the river is super nice. i wanted to jump in, which gave d and hy a shock of their life. haha. they scared i really falll in cos it was slippery after the rain and i kept saying i can swim la. haha. there are steps tt can allow u to "go into" the river. and its quite steep. quite scary. but i managed 2-4 steps. and again d n hy were screaming after me. haha! took a few pics. then went to walk around. dared them to pretend we were tourists. lol. can try convo in jap. i think i cant haha! anw walked to liang court. theres this hello kitty shop. bought glue and wrapping paper. and walked ard at kinokuniya for a very long time. LOL. then went to this furniture shop that sells super super nice furnitures. i want to but. on the way saw something like candid camera. funny. clarke quay is really quite during the day. so we decided to go bugis walk walk instead. took a bus. haha. then we took neoprins. huiyan have to leave early. so me and dionis stayed for dinner. ate at billy and bombers. first time eating there. theres this 1 for 1 dinner. not bad. so went in. decide super long wad to eat. changed seats cos its too cramped. and dionis said the new seat is too bright. wp. she is troublesome. haha. so finally decided on something to eat. about 5meter fat sausages. i think it look like ermm shall not reiterate. was laughing like siao. tried spitting the skin of the sausages at dionis. after that had ice cream. the green color jap one. was having offer at 3 scoops for $3. why not. i love ice cream anw. :) hmmm then headed home! I HAD A GREAT DAY!! and i hope huiyan enjoyed too! hope she likes the prezzie! :DD


7 April 09

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST HUIYAN !! (:


8 April 09

Went to hospital with aunt and godma for her appt.

Juanita's bdae today. happy bdae to her :D


9 April 09

Went to library to return and borrow books. and to deposit my cheque. decided to have japanese curry meal. i cooked myself ok! ok its heat up only lah. -.-at night. cooked super delicious soup. yum yum. ok packet one lah. i am not a chef. LOL


10 April 09

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY :D stayed at home with sis. then after that went to godma house.


11 April 09

work :D


12 April 09
Went to cut my hair. then had dinner. yum yum. then go home watch campus superstar. haha


13 April 09

Met dionis at amk. ate sumo. then went for our spa. i think its funny. the spa was fun. the jacuzzi has light which made the pool appear blue and green. NICE. and the steam bath can burn fats lor. omg. the massage was good. but i am very ticklish. so it was quite itchy. i cant tahan so was like grabbing the bed. LOL. hmm we were laughing like siao. haha. and singing. hmmm then theres a drink for everyone after the spa. i din know its ginger drink. omg. can see la actually omg. i had no choice but to drink like one-third. yuck. i am most afraid of ginger. urgh. after that went walk walk. wanted to go manicure. but suan le. haha. had fun. :D


14 April 09
slack (:

15 April 09
slack (:


16 April 09

Its ZOO outing!!!!! Went to zoo with dearies janella, felyssia and evelyn. and dionis lah. haha. met at amk mrt station. helped mummy prepare bread early in the morning. janella prepared sanwiches for everyone also. i made luncheon meat with egg sandwiches. took bus 138 there. bought the $25 ticket which includes tram and boat ride. then HERE WE GO! was walking and eating nel's sandwiches at the same time. her sandwich super feng fu. got tuna, egg mayo, lettuce, ham, cheese. wow. and its nice wor. i love animals. i love the polar bear and the penguins. i wish i could swim like the bear. haha! watch the splash show also. very nice. and took a picture with the sealion. was that the sealion? hmm. very cute. gave me a kiss on my head. i also like the zebras. lol. and i was startled by the leopard lor. omg. i tot it was going to come out from its enclosure. OMG. took the boat ride. was slow but ok. wanted to play water but dun have lah. haha. the elephants are cute too. bought a tee shirt and magnet there. the photo with the sealion and the group ones are $18 each. or 3 for $35. so ex! so we din buy. and mineral water is at $2 per bottle. coke $3. omg. haha. bt no choice. duh. i dun mind being a zookeeper. i love animals. after tt went for dinner at amk. sumo with dionis. eve n nel ate dunno wad. fel went home. HAD FUN!! :D


17 April 09

Went to bugis there to 拜拜 with mum and godma. bought shirt and keychain. lol. after that went to vivo to collect back my icecream. argh. then doctor appt. after that went home. SLEEP :D


18 April 09

WORK


19 April 09

nua at home whole day. left barely one day before school reopens. stayed at home to prepare some stuffs for school also... -.-

26 March 09

Went to toa pa yoh library to return books. shun bian buy huiyan's wrapping paper for her present. then walk walk. after that went to novena. then went home. haha.


27 March 09

Went out with my sec school buddies. met at admiralty. then after that went to dhoby ghout to watch movie and have dinner etc.... decided to watch COMING SOON. omg. it was sort of my suggestion. very scared but at the same time excited. woohoo. i forgotten to bring my jacket. urgh. very hard to cover my eyes dah. lol. anway, bought popcorns and i bought cheese. to dip the popcorn. nice leh. :D was very nervous about the movie. because this is the first time im watching horror shows in cinema. and i am damm scaredy cat one :) so througout the movie i was sort of covering my face (it is my habit when watching horror shows) adnd my hand is very tired. lol and i have to look after the cheese and popcorn to prevent them from tumbling over..... haha. oh did i mention our seats are "couple seats" LOL. after that walk walk then met up with bengjun for dinner. he thinks he looks like rain with the shades! haha! just kidding. dined at manhattan's fish market. very nice yum yum. but there was a commotion regarding the drinks we ordered... LOL. we ordered 3 peach tea and 1 lemon tea. but in the end the order that came was 4 lemon tea (1 with lemon) LOL. assumed tt the one with lemon was lemon tea. lol. so we went to tell the manager i think. she said its peach tea. duh. so she gave us a small cup of lemon tea to PROVE tt lemon tea tastes like this. duh so we tasted. and its the same as the four cups...duh... so we told the person its different. and she gave us a small cup of peach tea to PROVE that peach tea taste like this..... and its different from the 4 cups duh. so we told her. then she change for us. but 1 only so we told her again. that its 3 peach tea instead. DUH. and the whole table was full of drinks. haha. funny. after dinner went to walk abit. then began taking photos. dunno where to go.LOL. wanted to go to the lighted streets. wahaha. in the end went home la. haha. had a great day :D



28 March 09

work work work work work -.- after that went to godma house for dinner :)


29 March 09

SUNDAY :D nua at home. LOL


30 March 09
Brought my HP for repair...then went lubrary to borrow books :s


31 March 09
Went to collect back my HP. was $80+++ OMG.

i tried to not think that life is sometimes a torture. but ultimately, i really cant do it at times. i am getting fed-up with everything in the world.



HELP ME/KILL ME

25 March 09