haiz haiz haiz. it never rain but pours isn't it? when troubles come, they come all at a time. i have yet to settle one, another came. the things that i always find out are hurting me.

next week i will be going night, i am glad that i am going night because that way i will never know what is happening in the day. i am wondering what will i see when i am back, i hope that when i come back from night, i can forget everything and pretend nothing has happened. have i really fallen into the trap? history is going to repeat itself. i am going ot be hurt for the 'n'th time. the night duties really come in time for me to think things through and cool down. even though i am going to miss people like buddy and brother lew. but i really need some time away. its driving me crazy...

i am not sure why i am reacting so strongly to this. i don't really trust my feelings anymore. i would rather i never had found out this thing. the problem is, why do i care? die. i don't know what i should do now. warn him? i already have alot of things on hand for me to trouble. they are putting me in charge of the holiest job ever. i am going night. i hope nothing bad happens when i am back. argh ruiyi this is nothing got to do with you. can you wake up your idea? sometimes when i am really troubled, i really habe no one to talk to. buddy is too far. laoda bu li wo. i have no one else to talk to. argh. i am real tired la.


超人不会飞

作词:周杰伦
作曲:周杰伦

妈妈说很多事别太计较
只是使命感找到了我我睡不着
如果说骂人要有点技巧
我会加点旋律你会觉得超屌
我的枪不会装弹药
所以放心不会有人倒
我拍青锋侠不需要替身
因为自信是我绘画的颜料
我做很多事背后的意义并非你们想象
拍个电视纯为了友情与兄弟间的梦想
收视率再高也难抗衡我的伟大理想
因为我的人生无需再多一笔那奖项
我不知道何时变成了所谓的那榜样
被狗仔拍的那边装着要道歉的模样
怎样

我唱的歌词要有点文化
因为随时会被当教材
cnn能不能等英文好一点再访
时代杂志封面能不能重拍
随时随地注意形象
要控制饮食不然就跟杜莎夫人蜡像的我不像
好莱钨的中国戏院地上有很多手印脚印
何时才能看见我的脚..oh~

如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些
拯救地球好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没
因为超人不能流眼泪

唱歌要拿最佳男歌手
拍电影也不能只拿个最佳新人
你不参加颁奖典礼就是没礼貌
你去参加就是代表你很在乎
得奖时你感动落泪
人家就会觉得你夸张做作
你没表情别人就会说太嚣张
如果你天生这表情
那些人甚至会怪你妈妈
结果最后是别人在得奖
你也要给予充分的掌声与微笑
开的车不能太好
住的楼不能太高
我到底是一个创作歌手还是好人好事代表
专辑一出就必须是冠军
拍了电影就必须要大卖
只能说当超人真的好难

如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些 oh
拯救地球好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没
因为超人不能流眼泪


只能说当超人真的好难 > i like this. i am tired being superman. i am multitasking everyday. all the shit work goes to me. i am not complaining. but i really wish someone will just appreciate everything i done. no matter how much i do, how much i try, no one seems to appreciate anything i do. i am really very tired. someday, i will give up.

maybe not.
拯救地球好累虽然有些疲惫但我还是会不要问我哭过了没因为超人不能流眼泪...( thank u brother jay, i like this too)

拯救IP好累, 虽然有些疲惫但我还是会...

i had another great adventure with buddy and shiping...had great fun... =) the fireworks are great, but my camera doesnt want to cooperate... LOL...


anyway. i found out something. i dunno what to do. i dunno if i should say it out. should i warn him? and why do i even care, why do i even feel uneasy about it? die.



oh by the way. dont make me fall in love with you. i dun want to take another blow. i know its gonna hurt. i am tired of everything.


TAY RUI YI. WAKE UP STAT. i'll get over this soon.

i dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnno why.

anyway. was in quite an awful mood. (again???!!!). but on the way back from the pharmacy, i met buddy and kak huda (buddy was like BUDDDYYYYY!!!!!!) lol, yeah...and that cheered me up quite alot =) thankews =)

16 July 2010

Drug of the day: Lapatinib

ok i never spell wrong. anyway. i was super super pissed off to the max. i was surprised to see myself flare up. i don't even know what the hell did i do wrong lor. wtf


17 July 2010

Drug of the day: Rasburicase

My 1st full saturday. it was quite peaceful. i think i like working on saturdays =)


19 July 2010

Drug of the day: Lapatinib(again), efavirenz, tanatril, and many many more

Spent the whole morning packing oh yeah oh yeah meds. i'll do anything for JJ. ahahahaha.

BTW. i think too highly of myself. its so sad! i dunno why u hate me so much la. i dun even know what did i do... :( its ok. im used to it :(




zzzooooooooommm...

lunch time is always so nice. nicer in the past. but a chore nowadays.

why do i have to pretend to smile when i am obviously feeling upset? and how come no one told me i was born to make mistakes? how come no one told me i was born to be disliked by others?

ARGH

Its been a month. i remember one month ago starting of june, buddie told me she will be in haem to cover for a month (june) and will be back after that. i was very sad at first cos i wont be seeing her for a month. but thinking of that now, i'd rather she be there for a month and be back in july. at least its only for a month. because now, she's not coming back anymore. i rather miss her for one month than everyday =(

its already july. buddy was supposed to come back. =(((


i miss buddy =(

Dear Diary,

Today i screwed up. i was very upset with myself. i cannot believe i allow myself to make that mistake. if anything goes wrong. i will tender.

My mood dropped from 100% to negative. Big difference from time 9.05am and 5.45 end work time.

Here is what happened. many people told me its ok, its not my fault. but i still cannot forgive myself for making this slipshod.

My first week as a confirmed PT and i screwed up. Go and die la Tay Rui Yi.

They put me in charge of IOU this week. big mistake. i am not finding excuses for myself. but juggling iou and my imr is very stress. And i have people understudy with me leh.

It is my fault. The methylcellulose. I was compounding trying to compound Ursodeoxycyclic acid syrup when Shannon told me that it will expire on sunday. icant compund because they would need more during the weekend. (today is friday) so i went to ask Liza who is in charge of ordering the methylcellulose, she told me no one. and asked me why so late then tell her, iou ppl use use use then so late then tell her how to get. yes. its my fault, because on tuesday i didnt realise the exp date when i was compounding phenobarbitone syrup. and seriously, she sounded angry. i was trying my best not to cry. and i nearly burst out when cheryl loo hugged me and sahrin asked me if everything is ok. how can i allow myself to make such a mistake? i cant even handle such a simple task. i am not even suitable to work there. hais. i think they regret confirming my employment. sorry.

Everything is my fault. im off tmr. but i will go back and clear up the mess. i hope the methylcellulose will be available tmr. KK lab will be closed tmr. SGH lab doesnt make this. no one knows how grave serious the situation i am in. by the way, the patient is a 2 month old neonatal baby. i will never forgive myself if anything happens. its no use even if i tender my resignation.


:*(

I finally found a lil bit of time to blog. don really wish to, cos im having a headache and my eyes are closing soon, but i have to..


25 June 2010

i bought my baby G. appraisal today. pay day but no bonus. i want a treat from the bonus ppl. esp those 对我真好 one. but scared la so on leave roflmao. anyway. i cant believe i am now a confirmed staff -.-
HBTLD :D



26 June 2010

3million cheers for adventures with buddy and shiping. had a great day. pictures take. nice. went to marina sands. bonus not enough so we didnt go on the sky park. will till dec bonus, (if i can tahan till then).movie ip man was not bad. i still love ah piao shows. although i see them (in the pcy) everyday. just joking.



28 June 2010

1st day as a full fledged pharmacy technician. what the hell this sounds damm 做作. -.- yess and i kenna E duty. which is until 7. and i am in charge of IOU. hahahahaha x 100 the last time i did IOU was during attachment?! nevermind. and the infront ppl nv pick up the phone or whatever so i collected my ganci super late. rofl. my 1st day till 7 and no one brief me. lol i didnt know what to do so i eneded up checking the e-kit and got my hand allergic to whatever is inside the e-kit. viola

Anyway. during lunch, winnie ask me something. she asked my if buddy is permanently at haemato. i told her i refused to answer her question.

then she asked me: 你的 buddy 在 haemato la?
i said ya
then she said then 他们没有给你新的buddy ah?

i told her: 没有, 我也不要, 我只有一个 buddy and my buddy will be my buddy forever.

i am very certain



29 June 2010

WOOHOO congratulations to the junior stuff typing this. today is my official date of confirmation. roflmao. had meeting in the afternoon. brother, in his usual self was laming throughout the presentation. i hope i wasnt the only one laughing, 100% with chop buddy will also laugh hysterically if she was there. i only managed to sit thru brother's meeting. cos halfway through i was dragged to do my IOU. ie making phenobarbitone syrup. great.

hazicom asked me; no senior help u meh?
me: lol im the ''senior'' lor. =.-ll

Anyway i was super super super super super x 10000 times angry and bloody hell pisssssed off. i know u hate me to the max la. but dun have to be so mean right?!



30 June 2010

Was in a bad mood. as usual. but i managed to cheer up a little in the afternoon. just because of a simple trip to haemato. buddy in prep room. did the twist sign to her and she did the YOG sign. roflmao. i nearly dashed in and slap her. hahahahahaha just kidding. thats like funny la. and my buddy is damm zai. some clever ppl didnt fax the afternoon ganci order. so i went to collect the morning one and realised. immediately faxed over to haem and ask if still can. luckily they good ppl =) faxed at 4.54 pm. told hazirah siao liao. then went to 48 to top up the rest. when i came back, still in the lift, buddy text me saying ganci ready. i tot my hp spoil -.- 太快了 la! so i went to collect the ganci, mask still on, and top up =) yes something as simple can make my day.. oh ya and lisa is so funny. i was having a mask on my face and she said oh u looked so cool! hahahaha. funny

btw, ismail said to me; ruiyi, i've got something to tell u later, about the changes

omg i nearly jumped -.-
and i still dunno wad


1 July 2010

Cheryl Loo said something that made me a lil upset. =( i know its a fact la. but still.. nevermind. alot of things happened today. i went over to NCC to buy Sunitinib. i happened to be typing ward orders and saw that. a few interesting things happened. interesting things always happen whenever i am typist =) . i want to type my fill. wait till clmm rolls out i cant type alr. how sad =( i finished my IOU before lunch. 太 pro le la. -.- joking la. brought foood today, mama cooked ytd nice. camila bought lotsa of famous amos cookies and lollipop and kinder bueno. her son full month. yumm. i still did not managed to finish my IMR. 5 more to go this week and hazirah is gg to treat me to sushi! =)




i miss buddy
i miss abbreviations
i miss kb ppl
i miss screaming and laughing out loud hysterically
i miss psychotherapy