Tuesday, March 30, 2010
choosing a job and making sure i dont regret is not easy. whats worse is choosing a carrer path. especially for 感情用事 people like me. grrrr.
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Monday, March 29, 2010
the email is drafted, but i havent got the guts to click 'send'
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我们的回忆就像泡泡, 很美丽, 不过很短占...
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Sunday, March 28, 2010
am starting work soon. i really dread the thought of starting work. no words can describe my agony and sian-ness!and my wish before i start work wasnt fufilled =((badly wanted to have a meal with you before i start work. =(((quite sad actually...
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Saturday, March 27, 2010
at least i've tried... :(
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Friday, March 26, 2010
HAIYA! i tot everything settled alr. but it seems that the problem is getting worse! die la! how how how? this is the worse thing in my life. and its the worse decision i have to make in my life! siao liao! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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Tuesday, March 16, 2010
救救我吧!!!!!!
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Friday, March 12, 2010
Maybe right from the beginning, i was being too wilful. I wasnt being unreasonable... Really... I just want to get things right. I just want to understand what is going on, all thats being said... I've already tried my best to analyse the situation such that it will hurt the least... But unfortunately, i made a blunder again... He is right... I agree i think too much... or perhaps I'm really crazy. But thats only because i care... For a friend... Maybe it serves me right each time i get a scolding... Haiz. I just want to understand things... I'm gonna stop being a retarded freak and not read too much into things... :( 对不起...
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
was watching tv and they were talking about dreams. can dreams really come true? what if all i ever dream of is to be able to love you? and perhaps
vice versa ... i am so tired. sometimes i am too tired to even cry...
i am not being unreasonable, i just need to know why. i am thinking very hard to find a way to analyze the situation such that it will hurt the least.
and when im thrown with a decision i cannot make, i just feel like dying so i dun have to think about it. and if i ever go ahead, thats because i just want to be ____ ___.
and making this decision is so hard that it is driving me crazy. maybe my new hobby is hiding in the toilet and cry.
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!was not feeling well these few days. cooped up at home. and to avoid thinking too much, i slept too much i think my brain is fried. other than that, i watch tv. rmb there was a commercial, "if today was your last day, who would you say i love you to?'' i think if someone ever ask me that question. i will flip. because not only my last day. i want to let u know this everyday. but I CANNOT.
how come things keep on going wrong for me? and it just gets worse and worse. my problem is simple, yet too complicated.
♥
Thursday, March 4, 2010
my 大道理 of the day:
一个人, 看起来很开心, 不一定是真正的快乐...
because some people are good at putting on a brave front. and are good at deceiving others, as well as themselves. although the outside seemed cheerful, all is a facade, because you never know what they are thinking behind that mask.
maybe i am good at hiding. maybe i am too good at suppressing my feelings. maybe i can act, pretend, put on a brave front. but deep down?
because when the sun sets and night comes, i toss and turn in the darkness, and loneliness creeps in.....
the human mind is such an irony...
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TO: W you know who you are...
Take cares. and don't dwell on it too much. i am in no position to say much, because im not any better myself. but i believe all would be well for you. really. because miracles happen. but not on me.
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for 2 decades, i've been wishing for something that could not possibly happen. but Dear God, if that is the only thing i wish for?
with faith, i move on
♥
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Updates for the day =) (i mean 2ndMar10)
FACT NO.
1) i just made jelly, and it smells like antibiotic
2) i just kenna toothpaste on my hair 1 min ago
3) i forced someone to buy shades today
4) i spent God-Knows-how-much money today. CUI
5) i would rather study pharmacology than trying to understand the camera manual
6) i am addicted to saying ''you-are-so-weird!''
7) i am not the lightning thief
to be updated
tata~
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Tuesday, March 2, 2010
ARGH!why?
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Monday, March 1, 2010
我的心好痛好痛...because i never thought that our friendship could be that vulnerable. but fine. i will just numb myself with the fact that i think too much again. maybe that will hurt less. u used to care. but now you DON'T. if money can buy your 关心. i might try. i really really wish to know. how come u are so friendly towards other people. but treat me like i don't exist?
maybe i am THAT detestable
lately, logging to facebook needs more courage than jumping down from a building. argh. i don like this kind of feeling.
listening to 搁浅 in the middle of the night is CUI!
=( i miss you baby
♥
