Sunday, October 31, 2010
Happy Halloween (:
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Saturday, October 30, 2010
Went for a flu vaccine shot yesterday. Please say something nice to me because i think I'm so brave. Now random red spots are appearing all over my body and the itch is killing me.I hope this is not a flu vaccine allergy.
♥
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I have severe short term memory, but how come
I still can't forget the fact that I still love you?
♥
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Dear God, can you tell me what more can I do. I've already tried my best. I dunno what happened half a year ago, but I am already trying my best to salvage this. I am going crazy in no time. Eveything I do is of no use at all. Everything single word just breaks my heart. But I can longer feel anything because I'm used to it. Tell me what to do.. I'm too tired to even cry. What have I done wrong? I just want to go back before. Or maybe I don't have the rights to pursue my own happiness..
='(
♥
Dear xxxx xxxx xxxx, you know what? To me, you're still the best (:
♥
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Grrrrrrrr. If I go, I'll look like an idiot. If I don't, I'll feel bad. FML.
♥
I've been taking buses home these 2 days. The route home is long. But I like it because I have a longer
time to escape from reality. It doesn't make sense. But I just like it.
I think God was trying me everything is over. Because first bus trip, i was back home from night in the morning. I stood outside the shopping centre but it wasn't open because it was too early. Second bus trip, I was going home from E duty. Left pharmacy at 10plus. This time, the shopping centre was also closed cos it was too late. Thanks.
For Your Information. 我不是在拍 MV, neither am I auditioning for star search. I stone when I'm upset. Because i'm trying reminisce all those things, that even if I shorten my life by a few years, it'll never happen again.
♥
Friday, October 22, 2010
Am at the pharmacy going home now. i am going to take the bus.
PS: Usually when i take bus home, something is not right...BYE
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Thursday, October 21, 2010
我不是一个容易放弃的人. But this time I already tried my best.
Everything happens for a reason. This time as well. I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I thought. But even though I could "oh-I-see", every word u said, every single alphabet, pierced through my heart. It was as though u literally took a long knife and stab in, then plunge it out with all your might. I couldn't think of anything less cliched to describe my feelings now. But that's the truth. Because other people don't know how i feel at all. Think I'm a emo kid or whatever la, I don't care.
♥
I took a bus home today. I didn't feel like taking the train.
The bus stopped at something interchange. Good game. The exact spot. That darn place where we walked together. The memories flowed through me releasing pain slowly into me like slow torturing death.
想回道过去
♥
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I'm sleepy. 3 more long long hours to end work. My eyes are closing any minute. And i can't fall asleep cos the imrs keep coming. Rawrs.
Just now I scalded myself while making a drink. Not really scalded myself. But it's just that the hot water from the water dispenser splashed. And ouch. And then, I suddenly thought of someone. Which I begin to feel sad again. I thought of him. I remembered once on the phone, I told someone that I scalded my hand while drinking tea. I forgotten why he said because that was freaking long ago, but I think it was something nice? I know I will never hear that again. But seriously I really wish to go back to before. I know we were getting nowhere. But at the very least I feel blessed to be with you. Just a meal and staying by your side and looking at you is enough to keep me smiling even in my dreams.
One more thing, as I was looking through my phone, I saw those messages. Those comforting texts you used to send me. Those encouraging words, I'll never hear them again. Right now. I stared at my phone and kept waiting, but all I received were disappointments. My phone never beeped.
I already tried to let go. But I tried my best, maybe one last time, to go back to before. But I guess everything was just wishful thinking on my part.
It wasn't my fault. I was about to let go until u reappeared. Or rather I have not really let go. Deep down I have not forgotten at all. That why when u reappeared, the hurt was greater.
I don't want anything more, just someone to love and vice versa.
♥
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sorry, I was just in a very bad mood ='(
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Sunday, October 17, 2010
I was waiting the whole day. Then my hp beeped. I opened it, sending a smile on my face. I knew it. I always knew. :) it was this "special-ness" we share. The never ending time lagging boliao lil conversations.
惨了
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Saturday, October 16, 2010
I looked at the roster. Was feeling sad. :( but i dunno why do I feel sad. Lol. Well I shouldn't be. And why do I even care. This 没缘分 might be a good thing. At least it keeps me from falling deeper. Like I said, my heart is not ready for
someone new.
Wait. Speaking of someone new for my myocardium, (LOL although I
don't really want, ya you know who I'm talking abt), I could actually continue falling deeper until
someone!!!!!! whom I have buried into the deep tissues in my myocardium, suddenly appeared. And making me more miserable when I am
trying to get over.
Great.
♥
Friday, October 15, 2010
Dear ____
Thank you for walking into my life once again, and this time causing greater and deeper hurt.
♥
