it took me quite a long time to post this post...simply because i was running away from reality. sometimes i don't really wish to face it. but i simply HAVE TO. because i need to GROW UP.

yes if you happen to know. i am feeling upset again. congratulations to me.
you must be thinking, wtf! emo again?!?!? too bad la. not that i like it ok
if each time i feel baddd i will lottery, i would have taken over Singapore Turf Club and sponsor everyone in the class for their oversea study trip. 10 times also can. not funny ok.

and i love crying in the showers because no one know im crying and i cant feel the tears trickling down my face.

how come come each time i look into your eyes, i can feel you saying 'get lost, you think i care?'
you used to care. but not anymore. and it makes me wonder what is wrong. if anyone happens to peel off my mask, u will be surprised to discover the real me. because it would be totally different from me at work, or anywhere else without thinking of all those bad stuff. i wonder if it is depression if u can suddenly in the middle of nothing just thought of something. and tears just flow. and come to think of that, i;ve been bad-mooding for a week. 看不出 right? because i've mastered the art of hiding.

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DOUBLE BLOW IN 2 CONSECUTIVE DAYS. HOW GREAT.
the reason why i've been soo upset recently is because i feel that i am tooo dumb. you make me look like a total fool. reason being, when i care about someone. he/she doesnt appreciate it. and it makes me feel like im being very silly doing so. and u didnt realise this has hurt me. fyi, i am only concern about you. and i am concern about you because i care. and i care because i really care. i only want you to know that i will always be there if u needed me. but i guess this is just 好心没好报. or maybe i am just being extra. i think i am being too KPO. serve me right. orbi good

second thing. hais. i dun really know how to write this. i can write out the whole story. but apparently i cant. first. i am real sorry. i really really wanted to help. and you know me, i will definitely do my best to help (maybe u don think so, now u do). but i was really busy. i said i'd get back t you and i did, to no avail. BUT when i finally got hold of you, i nearly died. because i was just too shocked. because YOU DIDNT EVEN LET ME KNOW. and i was stupidly stupidly stupidly waiting and waiting and waiting for your call and such. and guess what. i know u are going to say im being petty again. but u didnt know that that had really HURT me very very very much, did you?





lalalalala
fine no one cares. but if one day anyone would care about me. i might flip. goodnight. i hope i am not waking up in the morning. because it just hurts too badly. BYE BYE.