Dear Diary,

Today i screwed up. i was very upset with myself. i cannot believe i allow myself to make that mistake. if anything goes wrong. i will tender.

My mood dropped from 100% to negative. Big difference from time 9.05am and 5.45 end work time.

Here is what happened. many people told me its ok, its not my fault. but i still cannot forgive myself for making this slipshod.

My first week as a confirmed PT and i screwed up. Go and die la Tay Rui Yi.

They put me in charge of IOU this week. big mistake. i am not finding excuses for myself. but juggling iou and my imr is very stress. And i have people understudy with me leh.

It is my fault. The methylcellulose. I was compounding trying to compound Ursodeoxycyclic acid syrup when Shannon told me that it will expire on sunday. icant compund because they would need more during the weekend. (today is friday) so i went to ask Liza who is in charge of ordering the methylcellulose, she told me no one. and asked me why so late then tell her, iou ppl use use use then so late then tell her how to get. yes. its my fault, because on tuesday i didnt realise the exp date when i was compounding phenobarbitone syrup. and seriously, she sounded angry. i was trying my best not to cry. and i nearly burst out when cheryl loo hugged me and sahrin asked me if everything is ok. how can i allow myself to make such a mistake? i cant even handle such a simple task. i am not even suitable to work there. hais. i think they regret confirming my employment. sorry.

Everything is my fault. im off tmr. but i will go back and clear up the mess. i hope the methylcellulose will be available tmr. KK lab will be closed tmr. SGH lab doesnt make this. no one knows how grave serious the situation i am in. by the way, the patient is a 2 month old neonatal baby. i will never forgive myself if anything happens. its no use even if i tender my resignation.


:*(